Lovers have shared the most disastrous moments they’ve ever encountered in the bedroom, and it makes for hilarious—and sometimes stomach-churning—reading.
The regrettable mistakes include breaking a nose, serious candle wax burn and scalding genitals with a lubricant containing hidden chilli peppers.
The collection of stories, posted to a Reddit thread with more than 2,000 comments, also featured a woman who almost injured a lover performing an acrobatic sex act.
‘I was a bit wine-drunk, he was in the zone, loving life… but I didn’t even know how many orgasms in I was at that point and I was starting to feel light-headed,’ she wrote.
She continued to explain how the romp ended in a catastrophic climax.
‘I felt really weird, like when the tips of your fingers start to tingle and then… I kind of went stiff for a moment and then my vision blacked out,’ she wrote.
‘I fell off his face sideways in a way that almost broke his nose and took off half his beard at the same time.’
Fortunately, she said they escaped without serious injury.
Lovers have shared their hilarious, and sometimes dangerous, kinky mistakes and mishaps on social media
Another man recounted a tale that highlighted the importance of always practicing good hand hygiene before a sexual encounter.
‘My girlfriend is a homemade salsa enthusiast. Inadequate hand-washing led to a jalapeño hand-job. Do not recommend,’ he wrote in a post with nearly 7,000 likes.
A commenter on the post then shared a story involving the accidental application of a Deep Heat-like massage oil with capsicum, the compound that make chilli peppers ‘hot’, to an intimate area.
‘Did you all know that KY makes massage oils with capsicum in them? Cause nobody f****** told me,’ they wrote.
Another couple shared a cautionary tale that highlighted how it’s always important to do your research before embarking on an erotic fantasy.
‘You know the thing where one pours hot wax on a lady’s nipples? You also know there are special candles [you are supposed to use] that don’t get too hot? I didn’t, neither did my wife,’ they wrote.
And in a pandemic-related sex accident, one pair of lovers were left extremely sore after an unfortunate mix-up.
From an intense orgasm nearly breaking a nose, erotic escapades with candles, to discovering, the hard way, that an improvised lubrication contained a spicy ingredient
‘Covid era. Husband thought he was grabbing the lube and actually grabbed hand sanitizer. Rubbed it all over his **** and… I can still feel the burn.’
Others shared precautionary tales of physical injuries, from overenthusiastic lovemaking to property damage.
One man recalled staying too long with his wife at an ‘awkward angle’ had left sore for weeks.
‘Now, a month later, I still can’t jump and have some trouble on stairs because I have some gnarly strain on a part of my leg muscle.’
And a woman shared how trying to remove a long hair from her lover’s face nearly ended in disaster.
‘He leaned forward and my long nail scratched his cornea deep. We had to go to urgent care, I felt awful,’ she said.
And in one skin-crawling incident, a man recalled how having sex with his girlfriend against a wall ended up with an unexpected visitor.
‘Her hand goes thru the drywall, we laugh it off and continue until I see possibly the biggest spider I’ve seen crawl out of the hole,’ he wrote.
He went to add that ‘needless to say’ he felt a bit ‘limp’ at the interruption.
Another social media user recounted how the sensual idea to have embark on the 69 position ended up in them snoring.
A 69 is a sex position in which two people align themselves in a position that allows them to give and receive oral sex at the same time.
Unfortunately, exhaustion had built up from a working day, resulting in unromantic consequences.
‘She asks “Are you asleep?” “No, you know I work a lot, I’m just taking a break” (she countered) “You were snoring!”, ‘ they recalled in a post with 3,000 likes.
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