Charlie Sheen has confessed to the lingering embarrassment he still feels about his tumultuous past after reaching eight years of sobriety.
At the height of his stardom, the Two and a Half Men star led a wild and debauched life, plunging headlong into spiraling drug addictions.
In the 1990s he testified about paying more than $50,000 for what he made a point of insisting were ‘heterosexual services’ from escorts employed by ‘Hollywood Madam’ Heidi Fleiss, and in 2010 he was allegedly thrown out of the Plaza Hotel in New York after trashing his room while high on cocaine.
During his explosive divorce from Denise Richards in 2005, she accused him of making death threats against her, shoving her and endangering their children due to his penchant for call girls and pornography.
Now Charlie, 59, who is HIV positive, has spoken candidly about trying to make amends with others and forgive himself after getting clean in 2017.
‘Forgiveness is still an evolving thing. I still get what I call the “shame shivers.” These are the moments that hit me, of the heinous memories and choices and consequences,’ the son of Martin Sheen told People in a cover interview.
Charlie Sheen has confessed to the lingering embarrassment he still feels about his tumultuous past after reaching years of sobriety
Charlie Sheen has confessed to the lingering embarrassment he still feels about his tumultuous past after reaching years of sobriety
‘They’re getting farther in between, so I guess that’s progress. What has been interesting about making amends is that most people have been like: “Hey yeah, we’re good man, but we hope you’ve also forgiven yourself.”‘
He has no desire to return to drinking and drugs because: ‘Whether it’s true or not, I like to think the next hit would kill me.’
Charlie is now publishing a memoir called The Book of Sheen in which he frankly recalls his years of substance abuse, admitting to using crack and opiates including heroin, as well as a testosterone cream that made him a ‘raving lunatic.’
‘At my parties, I always said: “Park your judgement at the door. No pain in the bedroom. And no one can die.” Those were good rules,’ he shared in his interview.
The intensity of his nightlife was partly fueled by a carpe diem attitude that came from his insecurity about the transience of his stardom.
‘There was always that voice of doubt,’ he said: ‘that it was only a matter of time before it all went away, so to enjoy it as heartily as you can.’
During his party years, he welcomed his daughters Sami, 21, and Lola, 20, with Denise, and his twin sons Max and Bob, 16, with his subsequent wife Brooke Mueller.
Denise and Charlie’s divorce was finalized in November 2006 with a court order stipulating that other than during supervised visits, Charlie had to remain 300 feet from Denise and their daughters, according to Access Hollywood.
During his explosive divorce from Denise Richards in 2005, she accused him of making death threats against her; the former couple are pictured at that year’s Screen Actors Guild Awards
Charlie is pictured with his father, The West Wing star Martin Sheen, at the AARP Movie’s For Grown Ups Film Festival in Los Angeles in 2011
He was then married to Brooke from 2008 to 2011, during which time both of them had drug problems that were widely reported.
In 2013 it was Denise who stepped in and temporarily cared for Max and Bob after the government took them from their mother on account of her substance abuse.
Charlie and Denise have been locked in multiple rancorous battles involving their own two daughters, including a lawsuit she filed in 2016.
In her legal documents, Denise accused Charlie of having told her in 2013: ‘I am going to sever your head and mail it to your father.’
She also claimed that Charlie had texted Lola: ‘Have a merry Xmas with your loser f***s**t mom… your dad is a rock star genius … your mom is a p*** wart,’ when his daughter was only eight years old.
He welcomed his daughters Sami, 21, and Lola, 20, with Denise (the four of them are pictured), and he also has twins Max and Bob, 16, with his latest ex-wife Brooke Mueller
However by 2017 year they had evidently become friendly again and were spotted taking their children to a Twenty-One Pilots concert.
They recently publicly disagreed over Sami’s decision to join OnlyFans – while Charlie criticized the movie, Denise followed her daughter onto the platform.
Now Charlie has remarked that his decision to get sober was ultimately driven by his compunctions about the sort of father he would be to his four children.
‘I keep a [mental list] of the worst, most shameful things I’ve done, and I can look at that in my head if I feel like having a drink,’ he said, noting that ‘You have to be willing’ to go on the wagon in order to successfully achieve sobriety.
His book comes out next Tuesday, with a Netflix special called aka Charlie Sheen bowing next Wednesday, but he insisted that ‘I’m not calling all of this a comeback. I’m calling it a reset. I’m just living for the next moment, whatever that turns out to be.’
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