From the outside, Jodi Clark had it all: a thriving career in marketing, a happy home life with her husband and children, and the kind of polished exterior that suggested everything was under control.
But behind closed doors, her reality was far more fragile.
As the boardroom buzz faded and the demands of motherhood took over, anxiety crept in. She felt constantly on edge, as though disaster was always just around the corner. To cope, she reached for red wine – a ritual that began in her twenties and soon became a nightly crutch.
‘I was burnt out and my internal monologue was awful. I felt like I was at the bottom of the priority list and always putting others before myself,’ says Jodi, 42, from Nottinghamshire, England.
‘My anxiety was through the roof and alcohol was the only thing I had for me.’
Even bedtime stories with her children were overshadowed by thoughts of the glass of wine waiting in the kitchen. What she didn’t realise was that the habit she relied on to unwind was quietly fuelling her anxiety.
In 2019, Jodi visited her doctor and was prescribed the antidepressant citalopram – often known in Australia by the brand name Celapram. She believes it was a ‘quick fix’ offered without any deeper exploration of her lifestyle, diet or drinking habits.
‘No one ever asked about my diet, if I was drinking alcohol or about my lifestyle,’ she tells the Daily Mail.
In 2019, Jodi visited her doctor and was prescribed the antidepressant citalopram – often known in Australia by the brand name Celapram. She now believes it was a ‘quick fix’
Her experience wasn’t positive. She gained weight, which is a common side effect of SSRI-class antidepressants.
‘I kept drinking and kept taking it for six months,’ she adds.
At the same time, she was also prescribed beta blockers to manage her blood pressure. While they helped, they came with side effects, including hair loss.
‘I’d take a beta blocker before bed after drinking to avoid waking up at 3am filled with anxiety and beating myself up,’ she said.
The beta blockers worked – and she stayed on them for three years – but the antidepressants didn’t. She stopped taking citalopram after a few months, later realising the medication had likely been ineffective because of her alcohol intake.
‘For me, anxiety was a winded feeling in my stomach all the time with a shortness of breath,’ she says.
‘I was less present with my kids at night because I was just thinking about the glass of wine in the kitchen waiting for me.’
Still, she didn’t consider giving up alcohol.
Her experience wasn’t positive. She gained weight (left), which is a common side effect of SSRI-class antidepressants. The beta blockers she was also prescribed caused hair loss
At the time, Jodi had no idea that drinking could be the root cause of her anxiety. It was simply something she enjoyed – a reward at the end of a long day.
‘So, instead I stopped taking the medication because it wasn’t helping my anxiety,’ she adds.
‘But I didn’t know you’re meant to wean off it, not stop it suddenly, so I felt dizzy. I was falling over – it was awful.
‘Then I carried on drinking as normal and took beta blockers on occasion when I needed it, like before a meeting.’
The combination of alcohol and medication only deepened her stress.
‘I’d wake up feeling angry with myself for having another glass before bed the night before or going to bed later than I wanted to. I had this constant need to try to find some ‘me time’ – and alcohol was something just for me.’
For years, Jodi was what’s known as a grey-area drinker – someone that sits between a social drinker and a heavy dependency, but never hits ‘rock bottom’ or meets the criteria for addiction.
Alcohol had always been part of her life. She started drinking at 15 with friends, and it was seen as normal back then.
‘We didn’t have social media, wellness wasn’t a thing, we had our own fun at youth clubs. Drinking young was very normalised,’ she said.
‘We would drink cider on Thursday nights or weekends, hang out and laugh with our friends. It was purely social – something fun to do.
‘Everyone I knew drank when they went out; it was the normal thing to do. I wasn’t around people who didn’t drink.’
By 18, she had moved out of home, bounced between jobs, and regularly went to the pub with friends after work. In her 20s, drinking alone at home became routine.
‘I never thought anything of it. I never had a hangover and was functioning at work the next day,’ she explains.
Meeting her now-husband – someone who drank moderately – at the age of 25 prompted her to cut back to drinking on weekends only.
‘I questioned why I felt the need to drink but he didn’t. So I stopped drinking during the week and only drank on weekends,’ she says.
Still, she estimates she drank a bottle of red wine every weekend from the age of 20.
It wasn’t until Jodi stopped drinking in 2022 that she realised alcohol was the problem all along
Like many women, her drinking escalated during the pandemic.
‘During Covid, for a good six months, I was drinking every day,’ she says.
‘I had an 11-year-old, who was being home-schooled, and a two-year-old. I was managing a team worldwide meanwhile my husband often worked away. It was a really hard time.’
In 2021, Jodi reached her heaviest weight: 101kg (16st or 223lbs).
She barely recognised herself in the mirror and made a vow: ‘I will never be this weight ever again.’
That promise marked the beginning of a life-changing transformation.
She started small, by being more mindful about her calorie intake and gradually lost some weight.
Then, in 2022, she committed to 100 days alcohol-free while on a family holiday – and everything changed.
‘When I stopped drinking, literally the anxiety that I’d been medicated for disappeared in a month,’ she admits.
‘Within the first 30 days, my mental clarity was already shifting.’
At first she was concerned it would impact the relationship with her husband as they often bonded over a bottle of wine. But, unexpectedly, their relationship is stronger than ever.
Through the challenge, she realised that alcohol had been the source of her anxiety all along – something she was ‘completely oblivious’ to before.
She had blamed her circumstances – work, stress, family – without realising that alcohol was the common thread.
‘It’s crazy how little I knew back then. I was only planning to be sober for 100 days but never went back,’ she adds.
After being sober for six months, she negotiated a pay rise with her boss, lost 38kg (6st or 84lbs), and gained a diploma in positive psychology with a specialism in alcohol-free coaching.
‘I became more confident, energetic, present and had more self-believe,’ she said upon reflection. Not only that but her skin improved as well as her memory.
Now sober for three years, Jodi runs a coaching business called Sober Flourish and hosts a 100-day program which helps other women navigate their relationship with alcohol.
‘Every aspect of my life has improved,’ she said.
Learning to manage stress and emotions without her nightly glass of wine was difficult at first – but it was the best decision she’s ever made.
Jodi says her life is more vibrant without alcohol, she’s become more present with her children, and has a deeper connection with her husband.
She wants other women to know they’re not alone and emphasised others can make positive changes before hitting a ‘rock bottom’ moment.
‘For years we’ve been sold the idea that you only need to change your relationship with the alcohol if it gets extreme. That unless you’ve hit some dramatic “rock bottom” you should just carry on as you are and don’t question it,’ she wrote online.
‘There doesn’t need to be a big crash and burn moment to make your decision valid. You’re allowed to change just because you’re tired of how it feels, because alcohol isn’t giving you what you thought it would.’
This article was originally published by a www.dailymail.co.uk . Read the Original article here. .