From the moment I step out of the private transfer arranged by my hotel, I’m surrounded by towering palm trees, flashes of exotic birds and a blast of retro glamour straight out of Miami Vice.
But I’m not in Florida right now – far from it!
I’m actually in a Spanish resort that many turn their nose up at – Gran Canaria.
In Maspalomas, the Seaside Palm Beach is a five-star design hotel where 1970s Art Deco meets modern luxury – and crucially, it won’t break the bank (unlike nearly every hotel on South Beach).
The building curves in a horseshoe shape, with five pools glistening against manicured lawns and tall palms.
The interiors are unapologetically bold – glossy greens, burnt oranges, even golden lifts.
At first it feels almost too retro, then you realise that’s the point – it’s fun, flamboyant and brimming with personality.
Each of the hotel’s six room styles draws inspiration from the island’s nature.
Ines Fernandes (pictured) checks in to the Seaside Palm Beach, in Maspalomas, Gran Canaria
The Seaside Palm Beach is a five-star design hotel where 1970s Art Deco meets modern luxury – and crucially, it won’t break the bank (unlike nearly every hotel on South Beach, Miami)
From the moment I step out of the private transfer arranged by my hotel, I’m surrounded by towering palm trees, flashes of exotic birds and a blast of retro glamour straight out of Miami Vice
Mine comes in calming, sand dune shades of beige and brown.
And the highlight of my seventh floor room is the enormous balcony overlooking the Atlantic Ocean and Maspalomas’ famous palms.
There is also a giant bed with cloud soft pillows, a widescreen smart TV, air con, and a complimentary fruit bowl.
The bathroom, all sleek stone and glass, feels more spa sanctuary than standard en-suite.
My mornings begin in the high-tech gym, where machines actually show you each exercise onscreen.
The outdoor space faces the hotel’s sand area and a 30C pool, so my workout feels more like a scene from a glossy fitness ad.
Of course, I immediately ruin my efforts at the breakfast buffet.
Chefs cook eggs on order, tropical fruits and Canarian cheeses pile high, and there is an entire counter just for smoothies, where apple, celery and ginger become my daily go-to.
Then it’s straight to the pools.
The highlight of my seventh floor room is the enormous balcony overlooking the Atlantic Ocean and Maspalomas’ famous palms
Families stick to the giant freshwater pool, with its tiny island palm tree, but I head to the adults-only wellness area
Families stick to the giant freshwater one, with its tiny island palm tree, but I head to the adults-only wellness area.
Here, you can lounge on cushioned beds, order a G&T, and sink into a heated saltwater pool with jet beds and underwater bikes.
My favourite spot is the brine pool though, warmed to a balmy 33C, where you simply lean back and float.
The spa is another highlight.
I book a 25-minute back massage that leaves me floating, but the real surprise is the sauna complex.
There’s a traditional Finnish sauna, infused with mint and jungle sounds, a dramatic stone steam bath, and even a salt cave.
But, be warned: it’s a naturist area!
I stick to my swimsuit, but most people are perfectly happy in their birthday suits – very Scandinavian.
The spa is another highlight. I book a 25-minute back massage that leaves me floating, but the real surprise is the sauna complex
There’s a traditional Finnish sauna, infused with mint and jungle sounds, a dramatic stone steam bath, and even a salt cave. But, be warned: it’s a naturist area
The downside is it’s only open from 4 to 8 pm, which feels too short for such a blissful escape.
There’s also a wide range of wellness activities every day.
I try yoga and it’s wonderfully relaxing, while aqua gym and Tai Chi are on offer Monday to Friday for anyone wanting a gentle but energising start to the day.
Dinner is a serious affair.
Some nights it’s a la carte – I tuck into confit salmon, pumpkin and orange soup and ricotta ravioli, before attacking the cheese and dessert buffet – and other nights are themed.
On the Italian evening, I devour grilled squid, duck, lasagne, pasta and tiramisu until I can barely walk.
Drinks aren’t included in half board but there’s nightly entertainment, including pianists and disco parties, to keep you sipping – and beers start at just £3.50, while cocktails are £11.
It’s worth venturing beyond the hotel too.
The Maspalomas dunes and beach are just a three-minute stroll away, and are especially magical if you go before 10am when it’s empty.
It’s worth venturing beyond the hotel too. The Maspalomas dunes and beach are just a three-minute stroll away, and are especially magical if you go before 10am when it’s empty
Tranquil, indulgent, playful and drenched in 70s glamour, the Palm Beach really does make Gran Canaria feel like the Miami of Europe
I also join a TUI sunset excursion to Pico de las Nieves, the island’s highest peak at 1,949m.
We sip champagne above the clouds, explore a stone-built village, and stop at a volcanic crater before heading to a tapas restaurant.
Bring a jacket – it’s the only time you’ll feel chilly on the island.
Life at Palm Beach couldn’t be easier.
Late arrivals get a silver-cloched cold dinner tray straight from a film, and rooms are cleaned twice daily – once in the morning, once after siesta – so it always feels fresh.
The hotel never feels crowded, with just over 300 rooms and plenty of quiet zones where mobiles and smoking are banned.
Tranquil, indulgent, playful and drenched in 70s glamour, the Palm Beach really does make Gran Canaria feel like the Miami of Europe.
For seven-nights departing on 29 September 2025 and staying at 5* i
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